You can build happy, successful relationships, even if you have a history of relationship problems and failures. Yes, even if relationship problems have you down, you can learn the scientifically proven skills necessary to conduct healthy relationships that stand the test of time, and bring great happiness and success into your life. ?
Relationship problems got you down? No biggie. There are simple, powerful solutions for all your relationship issues.
Our happiness and success in life virtually depends upon the quality of our relationships, yet so few of us were given a relationship manual by our parents or teachers. Let's take a look at what unsuccessful partners do verses their successful counterparts.
People who are locked into an unhappy marriage tend to get stuck in a rut, and they cannot seem to work their way out. The way they go about their problems often makes them worse. Let's examine some of the biggest mistakes that keep people form having successful relationships.
You can learn to prevent many common relationship mistakes by referring to our flagship eBook, Relationship Gold, which I wrote at the request of my relationship therapy clients. Relationship Gold will show you how to solve almost all relationship problems, how to affair-proof your marriage and how to turn lackluster relationships into passionate, joyful relationships.
They tend to avoid talking because they're angry with each other or they may feel any attempt to discuss their issues will result in an argument or fight. But through avoidance and silence, the emotional divide grows wider, and the communication gap widens. The partners drift further apart. Each becomes more isolated, frustrated and lonely.
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Each spouse thinks it's the other spouse's responsibility to fix the relationship problems because he/she caused the problems, but, in reality, most relationship problems are the result of actions and decisions made by both spouses. It is never just one person's problem. For example, one may cause a problem, and the other may make it worse by over-reacting.
If you expect your significant other to repair your relationship, it may never happen. Or you may wait a long, long time. You can take steps to fix it, but not by placing blame.
The type of start-up most associated with failure is an angry or harsh one. Gottman's research shows that when an argument is brought up harshly, it almost always ends poorly, as well.
The type of ending matters, too. If the couple is slow to make up and repair their rift, the pain and agony drags on and on, and the relationship grows more weary. Each partner becomes more pessimistic about the relationship, and it has a toxic effect on future interactions.
You can probably offer a good guess or two. Just think about how a couple could behave differently in relationship to the mistakes mentioned above. Here's what the research says about how people involved in happy, successful relationships handle certain situations.
1. Instead of avoiding each other, or avoiding real communication, and stonewalling (staying mum and not responding to your mate), happy couples stay in touch with each other and remain connected. They don't allow problems to push them apart. Their positive feelings override the negative, and they calmly and patiently talk things out.
2 Each partner wants to be a better partner and focuses on himself or herself, not the other partner. Rather than placing blame, a happy spouse will gladly accept his/her part of the problem, and take responsibility for making improvements in the relationship. The focus is on what he or she can do to help.
3. Happy relationship partners or couples are quick to patch things up, after a fight, and to forgive and forget. It doesn't matter who started it or who is right or wrong. They don't waste time being miserable, angry or resentful. They say they're sorry and move on.
Anyone can solve relationship problems by taking a cue from the world's happiest marriage partners. You can improve your relationship if you keep the communication flowing, avoid placing blame and make quick repair attempts. Relationship bliss is right around the corner, so why not start building your successful relationships today?